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Me waiting for Minecraft to load

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Me waiting for Minecraft to load

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Don't get shirty with me 😉

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Don't get shirty with me 😉

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I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

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I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

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Don’t ever believe an atom, they make up everything.

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Don’t ever believe an atom, they make up everything.

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Did you hear about the woman who loved making archery suppli..

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Did you hear about the woman who loved making archery supplies? Every day she went to work, she quivered with joy

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What’s the body temperature of a Tauntaun? Luke Warm.

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What’s the body temperature of a Tauntaun? Luke Warm.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on pizza? Because he ate ..

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on pizza? Because he ate it before it was cool.

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Velvet: because you deserve to feel fancy

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Velvet: because you deserve to feel fancy

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Did you hear about the glass blower who accidentally inhaled..

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Did you hear about the glass blower who accidentally inhaled? He got stomach pane.

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Feeling lucky today? Spin my BRAND NEW WHEEL for a chance to..

Feeling lucky today? Spin my BRAND NEW WHEEL for a chance to win UNEXPECTED prizes. 🎡 🎡1 for $10🎡 🎡 2 for $15 or get all 3 for only $25 🎡

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Why would a can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing.

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Why would a can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing.

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Apologies for the low res stuff, still coming off the back o..

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Apologies for the low res stuff, still coming off the back of last week's mystery illness đŸ€’

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Things I'd rather do than the dishes:

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Things I'd rather do than the dishes:

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I don't have a dark side; I have a shadowy abyss. đŸ–€ https:..

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If you’re with a guy that can’t appreciate a good fruit joke..

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If you’re with a guy that can’t appreciate a good fruit joke, then it’s time to let that mango.

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This bundle was Maid just for you đŸ€”đŸ»â€â™€ïž https://onlyfans.c..

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To the person who invented the number zero, thanks for absol..

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To the person who invented the number zero, thanks for absolutely nothing.

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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

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When past, present, and future walk into a bar, things tend ..

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When past, present, and future walk into a bar, things tend to get real tense.

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Shout out to anyone who doesn’t know the opposite of “in”!

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Shout out to anyone who doesn’t know the opposite of “in”!

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I passed a sign that read “falling rocks”. So, I gave it a t..

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I passed a sign that read “falling rocks”. So, I gave it a try, and no it doesn’t.

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I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

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I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

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Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender h..

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Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the oth..

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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

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Two hydrogen atoms start to chat. One says "I've lost my ele..

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Two hydrogen atoms start to chat. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

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Who needs Google when you have Emma Hircine to tell you how ..

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Two muffins are baking in an oven.  The first muffin says, "..

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Two muffins are baking in an oven.  The first muffin says, "wow, it's really getting hot in here."  The second muffin says, "Wow... a talking muffin!"

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Two kittens had an argument. It was a cat-astrophe.

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Two kittens had an argument. It was a cat-astrophe.

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